No, they are not clown suits, we are going flying!
Disorientation.Friday, July 23, 2010
Scrapes, Shuttles and Sheep Shaggers
My, what big wheels you have!
Thursday 15th July day 21
We packed our bags and bid farewell to London. As we made our way through the streets to the tube station, I question the wisdom of wearing crocs after it rained the night before. Daniel found it amusing to watch me, top heavy with a backpack, inch my way down the street like someone learning to ice skate.
We were picked up at the airport Kathy and Roger and spent the next few days relaxing and catching up with family and friends, generally getting lost in the hire car.
Sunday 18th July day 23
We piled into the Camry and went to a car show called “Scrape by the lake” only getting lost on the way once. Checked out heaps of sweet rides and watched a competition where the owners try and “bounce” their cars higher than anyone else.......................................hmmmmmm....... I’m not sure how this relates to a cars’ main purpose of getting from point A to point B, but the crowd seemed to enjoy it, especially when the car came back down with enough force to dislodge parts from the body. The girls didn’t feel like staying around for the bikini contest.
Daniel amused us by spraying bright yellow mustard all over his white shirt. We ate poutine and now my chest hurts a little bit. We got lost on the way back but enjoyed views of Hamilton from all possible angles as we circumnavigated the city then ducked through downtown for a different perspective.
Monday 19th July day 24
We loaded up the Camry and with Kathy at the controls, we hit the Queen Elizabeth Way and before an hour was up, we were in Niagara falls. Well it would have been less than an hour if we didn’t go freestyle and get lost on the way.
We checked into our hotel (no, we will take it for the whole night thanks) then set out unsuccessfully in search of the golf course we played at 15 years ago.
With golf off the agenda, we headed north to Niagara on the Lake and Morgs, Daniel and myself grabbed seats on the Whirlpool Jet boat(Kathy said her heart wasn’t up to it, once was enough). Our guide was fully stoked to be taking us on his boat, continuously insisting that we pump our fists in the air whilst exclaiming that we were having an awesome time. We assumed his enthusiasm was real, I can’t imagine anyone being paid enough to be that excited. Nevertheless, the ride was exhilarating, powering through class 5 rapids and getting completely wet through. At times the boat seemed to completely fill with water. The boat operators put on an exciting manoeuvre where the jet boat completes a 360deg turn. We were all very impressed, I can tell you! They proudly announced it was named the “Hamilton Turn” after the designers of the jet propulsion system that was invented by the Hamilton Jet Boat company in New Zealand and, encouraged all the passengers on the boat to give a cheer for the New Zealanders. We received sour looks when instead of giving enthusiastic “hoorahs” we responded with “dirty sheep shaggers!”. So we had to explain to the other passengers that “yes, they can be quite inventive, but, they tend not to wash and have a weakness for “getting some wool on””. The other passengers looked at us differently for the rest of the boat ride. Their eyes seemed a little wider or something.
A dry Kathy collected us from the dock and whisked us back to the hotel in Niagara, then headed out for the evening while I took the kids to the wind tunnel for a bit of free fall sans aeroplane. I chose not to take part as a quick calculation showed that the vast amount of thrust required to get my fat arse airborne is generally reserved for somewhat grander projects like the propulsion system on the space shuttle.
We packed our bags and bid farewell to London. As we made our way through the streets to the tube station, I question the wisdom of wearing crocs after it rained the night before. Daniel found it amusing to watch me, top heavy with a backpack, inch my way down the street like someone learning to ice skate.
We were picked up at the airport Kathy and Roger and spent the next few days relaxing and catching up with family and friends, generally getting lost in the hire car.
Sunday 18th July day 23
We piled into the Camry and went to a car show called “Scrape by the lake” only getting lost on the way once. Checked out heaps of sweet rides and watched a competition where the owners try and “bounce” their cars higher than anyone else.......................................hmmmmmm....... I’m not sure how this relates to a cars’ main purpose of getting from point A to point B, but the crowd seemed to enjoy it, especially when the car came back down with enough force to dislodge parts from the body. The girls didn’t feel like staying around for the bikini contest.
Daniel amused us by spraying bright yellow mustard all over his white shirt. We ate poutine and now my chest hurts a little bit. We got lost on the way back but enjoyed views of Hamilton from all possible angles as we circumnavigated the city then ducked through downtown for a different perspective.
Monday 19th July day 24
We loaded up the Camry and with Kathy at the controls, we hit the Queen Elizabeth Way and before an hour was up, we were in Niagara falls. Well it would have been less than an hour if we didn’t go freestyle and get lost on the way.
We checked into our hotel (no, we will take it for the whole night thanks) then set out unsuccessfully in search of the golf course we played at 15 years ago.
With golf off the agenda, we headed north to Niagara on the Lake and Morgs, Daniel and myself grabbed seats on the Whirlpool Jet boat(Kathy said her heart wasn’t up to it, once was enough). Our guide was fully stoked to be taking us on his boat, continuously insisting that we pump our fists in the air whilst exclaiming that we were having an awesome time. We assumed his enthusiasm was real, I can’t imagine anyone being paid enough to be that excited. Nevertheless, the ride was exhilarating, powering through class 5 rapids and getting completely wet through. At times the boat seemed to completely fill with water. The boat operators put on an exciting manoeuvre where the jet boat completes a 360deg turn. We were all very impressed, I can tell you! They proudly announced it was named the “Hamilton Turn” after the designers of the jet propulsion system that was invented by the Hamilton Jet Boat company in New Zealand and, encouraged all the passengers on the boat to give a cheer for the New Zealanders. We received sour looks when instead of giving enthusiastic “hoorahs” we responded with “dirty sheep shaggers!”. So we had to explain to the other passengers that “yes, they can be quite inventive, but, they tend not to wash and have a weakness for “getting some wool on””. The other passengers looked at us differently for the rest of the boat ride. Their eyes seemed a little wider or something.
A dry Kathy collected us from the dock and whisked us back to the hotel in Niagara, then headed out for the evening while I took the kids to the wind tunnel for a bit of free fall sans aeroplane. I chose not to take part as a quick calculation showed that the vast amount of thrust required to get my fat arse airborne is generally reserved for somewhat grander projects like the propulsion system on the space shuttle.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
shampoo, shoeshine and showercaps
Sunday 11th July Day 17
Some tight arse had not selected the breakfast option when booking the hotel on line and we would have to do without our morning wheelbarrow of pig fat.
Kathy guided us through a maze of streets to Portobello Road which had lots of interesting shops and a pub that sold breakfast.......a dangerous, and yet enjoyable way to start the day. Eggs Benedict and pilsner urquell go down a treat for brunch. We’ll worry about the coffee later.
After Portobello Road we walked through Kensington Gardens/Hyde Park to speakers corner where we were pleasantly entertained by the local loonies of the day. After a couple of hours we moved on to Harrods. I couldn’t find anything I wanted at all. Kathy and Morgan managed to fare much better.
Due to the streets around Harrods grinding to gridlock soon after closing, we decided to walk back through Hyde Park/Kensington Gardens to our hotel stopping on the way for dinner at an Italian restaurant. We found pizza and beer and I was happy.
We saw Shane Watson in Kensington Gardens and Morgan may have wet herself with excitement. Daniel might have as well.
Monday 12th July Day 18
Awoke to another day sans pork fat. I can actually feel my arteries beginning to unclog.
We’d had enough of the girls and their shopping, so we tubed them off to Heathrow for a non stop flight to Toronto.
I took Daniel on a tour of my old haunts around London, whilst explaining responsible drinking to him.
Tuesday 13th July Day 19
Another pig free day.
After a series of London Underground challenges, we made our way to Lords cricket ground for the first Test between Pakistan and Australia. The weather swung between cold and miserable with occasional showers. Ponting let us down by getting out cheaply.
Interesting, they let eskies with grog into Lords but confiscated Daniels Australian flag.
After the cricket we returned to the hotel to “freshen up” which consisted of Daniel saying “are you ready yet? Come on, it’s time to go. We’re going to be late”. Then made another confusing series of tube connections to the KOKO where we lounged around for a couple of hours before the Hill Top Hoods came on. Daniel was fully stoked and spent the entire show in the mosh pit. I had a couple of quiet beers with myself somewhere at the back where the volume only hurt my chest a little bit. Man, what potty mouths. I guess that’s the kind of language that Adelaide people grow up accustomed with.
We finished with an evening meal at Macca’s at 1AM.
Wednesday 14th July Day 20
Off to the cricket for day 2.
A triple bacon ciabiatta did the trick. Artery walls back to an acceptable thickness. Daniel outsmarted the security guards by wearing his Australian flag singlet into the ground. You just knew they wanted to “look after it” for him. Watto had a day out bagging 5. Ponting let us down by scoring a duck.
Whilst most of the time watching the cricket on both days consisted of us sitting in the stands watching Katich blocking balls, out of the 24 wickets that fell over the 2 days, I managed to miss 8 of them due to being at the bar. 7 of the wickets I missed were Australian which led Daniel to believe that somehow I was jinxing them and therefore choosing beer over the Australian cricket team. After a while, I felt unpatriotic just going for a wee.
I uncovered Daniels stash of contraband lifted from previous hotels and while I can understand the shampoos, I find the shoeshine and shower caps perplexing. He says the bra is one that Morgan forgot. I am currently practicing answers that will inevitably be asked at customs.
Back at the hotel I set about unburdening ourselves of any containers of liquids above 100mls in preparation of the flight tomorrow.
Some tight arse had not selected the breakfast option when booking the hotel on line and we would have to do without our morning wheelbarrow of pig fat.
Kathy guided us through a maze of streets to Portobello Road which had lots of interesting shops and a pub that sold breakfast.......a dangerous, and yet enjoyable way to start the day. Eggs Benedict and pilsner urquell go down a treat for brunch. We’ll worry about the coffee later.
After Portobello Road we walked through Kensington Gardens/Hyde Park to speakers corner where we were pleasantly entertained by the local loonies of the day. After a couple of hours we moved on to Harrods. I couldn’t find anything I wanted at all. Kathy and Morgan managed to fare much better.
Due to the streets around Harrods grinding to gridlock soon after closing, we decided to walk back through Hyde Park/Kensington Gardens to our hotel stopping on the way for dinner at an Italian restaurant. We found pizza and beer and I was happy.
We saw Shane Watson in Kensington Gardens and Morgan may have wet herself with excitement. Daniel might have as well.
Monday 12th July Day 18
Awoke to another day sans pork fat. I can actually feel my arteries beginning to unclog.
We’d had enough of the girls and their shopping, so we tubed them off to Heathrow for a non stop flight to Toronto.
I took Daniel on a tour of my old haunts around London, whilst explaining responsible drinking to him.
Tuesday 13th July Day 19
Another pig free day.
After a series of London Underground challenges, we made our way to Lords cricket ground for the first Test between Pakistan and Australia. The weather swung between cold and miserable with occasional showers. Ponting let us down by getting out cheaply.
Interesting, they let eskies with grog into Lords but confiscated Daniels Australian flag.
After the cricket we returned to the hotel to “freshen up” which consisted of Daniel saying “are you ready yet? Come on, it’s time to go. We’re going to be late”. Then made another confusing series of tube connections to the KOKO where we lounged around for a couple of hours before the Hill Top Hoods came on. Daniel was fully stoked and spent the entire show in the mosh pit. I had a couple of quiet beers with myself somewhere at the back where the volume only hurt my chest a little bit. Man, what potty mouths. I guess that’s the kind of language that Adelaide people grow up accustomed with.
We finished with an evening meal at Macca’s at 1AM.
Wednesday 14th July Day 20
Off to the cricket for day 2.
A triple bacon ciabiatta did the trick. Artery walls back to an acceptable thickness. Daniel outsmarted the security guards by wearing his Australian flag singlet into the ground. You just knew they wanted to “look after it” for him. Watto had a day out bagging 5. Ponting let us down by scoring a duck.
Whilst most of the time watching the cricket on both days consisted of us sitting in the stands watching Katich blocking balls, out of the 24 wickets that fell over the 2 days, I managed to miss 8 of them due to being at the bar. 7 of the wickets I missed were Australian which led Daniel to believe that somehow I was jinxing them and therefore choosing beer over the Australian cricket team. After a while, I felt unpatriotic just going for a wee.
I uncovered Daniels stash of contraband lifted from previous hotels and while I can understand the shampoos, I find the shoeshine and shower caps perplexing. He says the bra is one that Morgan forgot. I am currently practicing answers that will inevitably be asked at customs.
Back at the hotel I set about unburdening ourselves of any containers of liquids above 100mls in preparation of the flight tomorrow.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Trails, Taxis and doing time
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Wednesday 7th July day 13
The day dawned grey and drizzly. Well, we assume it did although no one was up at 4:30 AM or whatever the time the sun rises over here in summer, but it was looking pretty grey when we got up somewhat later.
With a fair bit to look over in Castle Acre, Morgan with her blisters, Kathy with her cold and me thinking that walking fully sucked today, a proposal was put forward that we take our wandering around Castle Acre and, when we feel like it, call a taxi to take us to the next stop. The proposal was met with startling enthusiasm, so we set about doing very little. The employee behind the bar at our hotel was very laid back, when asked what time was check out, she replied “whenever”. We all went back and had a nice long lay down.
After spending a few hours crawling over the ruins of the castle and priory, we were picked up by the taxi and within 30 minutes we were delivered to the doorstep of our next pub. Now, this was more like it! The kids found the internet and TV and I found the beer garden.
We chose to eat at the hotel we were staying at due to there being nowhere else in the village. The meal was sensational, the bill met the meal and doubled it.
Thursday 8th July day 14
After a morning meal of pig fat, we all agreed we had the energy to at least see out the remaining 10 miles of the trail. A small concession was made to Kathy who said she would walk only on the condition that a taxi was found to take her backpack. It seemed a bit of a waste that a taxi would take only 1 pack so it was decided that all our packs would go. To be fair of course.
We staggered into Hunstanton after a brief lunch at the Ancient Mariner and booked into our hotel....which was a few stars less than our previous lodgings. We took our evening meal at the seaside bar across the road imaginatively called “the Seaside Bar” and somehow became involved in a quiz night in which we faired quite poorly. Our protests that the general knowledge questions were actually local knowledge questions fell on deaf ears.
Friday 9th July day 15
Over this mornings rations of pig fat, sausages consisting mainly of bread and pork fat and bum nuts, Kathy casually remarked that the breakfast cook looked like someone who had just been released from prison. As our stifled giggles subsided, I casually glanced around the room at or fellow diners. It immediately became obvious that we were staying in some kind of half way house to gradually ease felons back into society. We had grifters, grafters, fish and chip shop robbers and pros. The room was cheap. We ate our grub and kept to ourselves. I slipped a shiv into my shoe, well, it was acually a bread and butter knife into my croc. It fell out when we went to leave, but at least they knew I could be packing.
Morgan and myself walked a couple of miles to a golf course, eager to play a round only to be told our attire did not meet acceptable standards. This from a country club located within a caravan park! So, we walked the 4 miles to the other golf course, a pitch and putt on the other end of town only to be told last tee off was at 4:30. It was 4:45. Are these people mad? The sun will still be up for another 5 hours! We walked back into town and went to the pub. It was open and was indifferent to the way I dressed.
After dinner we went to the local theatre to see a drama festival of local acts vying for a prize at the end of the productions. After the first act, it became apparent that we were the only people there who were not related to any of the actors. We slipped away and went and saw a local thrash metal punk band who we couldn’t understand and made Kathy’s chest hurt. We then saw a band that had appeared to have forgotten their trousers and were on stage in their underpants. This seemed to attract other trouserless drunken fans. We began to feel uncomfortable. It was time to go back to the big house and go to bed.
The day dawned grey and drizzly. Well, we assume it did although no one was up at 4:30 AM or whatever the time the sun rises over here in summer, but it was looking pretty grey when we got up somewhat later.
With a fair bit to look over in Castle Acre, Morgan with her blisters, Kathy with her cold and me thinking that walking fully sucked today, a proposal was put forward that we take our wandering around Castle Acre and, when we feel like it, call a taxi to take us to the next stop. The proposal was met with startling enthusiasm, so we set about doing very little. The employee behind the bar at our hotel was very laid back, when asked what time was check out, she replied “whenever”. We all went back and had a nice long lay down.
After spending a few hours crawling over the ruins of the castle and priory, we were picked up by the taxi and within 30 minutes we were delivered to the doorstep of our next pub. Now, this was more like it! The kids found the internet and TV and I found the beer garden.
We chose to eat at the hotel we were staying at due to there being nowhere else in the village. The meal was sensational, the bill met the meal and doubled it.
Thursday 8th July day 14
After a morning meal of pig fat, we all agreed we had the energy to at least see out the remaining 10 miles of the trail. A small concession was made to Kathy who said she would walk only on the condition that a taxi was found to take her backpack. It seemed a bit of a waste that a taxi would take only 1 pack so it was decided that all our packs would go. To be fair of course.
We staggered into Hunstanton after a brief lunch at the Ancient Mariner and booked into our hotel....which was a few stars less than our previous lodgings. We took our evening meal at the seaside bar across the road imaginatively called “the Seaside Bar” and somehow became involved in a quiz night in which we faired quite poorly. Our protests that the general knowledge questions were actually local knowledge questions fell on deaf ears.
Friday 9th July day 15
Over this mornings rations of pig fat, sausages consisting mainly of bread and pork fat and bum nuts, Kathy casually remarked that the breakfast cook looked like someone who had just been released from prison. As our stifled giggles subsided, I casually glanced around the room at or fellow diners. It immediately became obvious that we were staying in some kind of half way house to gradually ease felons back into society. We had grifters, grafters, fish and chip shop robbers and pros. The room was cheap. We ate our grub and kept to ourselves. I slipped a shiv into my shoe, well, it was acually a bread and butter knife into my croc. It fell out when we went to leave, but at least they knew I could be packing.
Morgan and myself walked a couple of miles to a golf course, eager to play a round only to be told our attire did not meet acceptable standards. This from a country club located within a caravan park! So, we walked the 4 miles to the other golf course, a pitch and putt on the other end of town only to be told last tee off was at 4:30. It was 4:45. Are these people mad? The sun will still be up for another 5 hours! We walked back into town and went to the pub. It was open and was indifferent to the way I dressed.
After dinner we went to the local theatre to see a drama festival of local acts vying for a prize at the end of the productions. After the first act, it became apparent that we were the only people there who were not related to any of the actors. We slipped away and went and saw a local thrash metal punk band who we couldn’t understand and made Kathy’s chest hurt. We then saw a band that had appeared to have forgotten their trousers and were on stage in their underpants. This seemed to attract other trouserless drunken fans. We began to feel uncomfortable. It was time to go back to the big house and go to bed.
Saturday 10th July day 16
Hunstanton is mad! People arrived around 8 in the morning to sit in the sun for the day. Do they know that there will be sun for the next 15 hours?
We had had enough, we took the local bus to Kings Lynn and then a train to London. We located our hotel with only a small amount of retracing our steps out of Paddington Station. We then made our way across Kensington Gardens where we were met with a remarkable sight. Londoners were out in staggering numbers, sprawled, limbs akimbo, eyes dazed and rolling in their sockets, semi naked in the blazing 29 degC sun. We carefully picked our way through them, careful not to startle them to flight lest the ensuing stampede destroy London. We ate pizza and had beers. I went to sleep happy.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Hard Miles, Hotel Keys and Hot Showers
Tuesday 6th July day 12
The uprising had been quelled, the walk would go forward into another day. Breakfast passed without the issue being raised. I think the late offer to take a taxi the 2 miles to the closest point of the start of the trail helped.
We all started out in good spirits and mile down the way, it was discovered that the keys for the room at the previous nights hotel were still in my pocket. I didn’t think it was too much of an issue but the family insisted it was mentioned in the blog.
After walking for miles without seeing any open pubs, we stumbled out of dense forest into a Macdonalds. Kathy stated she needed to use the bathroom, so there was lunch.
Another 3 or so hours of walking and we came to our destination and checked into the Osterich Inn in Castle Acre and set about taking hot showers. We eventually made our way downstairs to the bar where we decided the menu looked pretty good and stayed for dinner. An excellent choice as it turned out.
The highlight of the day were coming across a couple driving a little Vauxhall stuck in a river because “the GPS navigator said it was a road!”.
The uprising had been quelled, the walk would go forward into another day. Breakfast passed without the issue being raised. I think the late offer to take a taxi the 2 miles to the closest point of the start of the trail helped.
We all started out in good spirits and mile down the way, it was discovered that the keys for the room at the previous nights hotel were still in my pocket. I didn’t think it was too much of an issue but the family insisted it was mentioned in the blog.
After walking for miles without seeing any open pubs, we stumbled out of dense forest into a Macdonalds. Kathy stated she needed to use the bathroom, so there was lunch.
Another 3 or so hours of walking and we came to our destination and checked into the Osterich Inn in Castle Acre and set about taking hot showers. We eventually made our way downstairs to the bar where we decided the menu looked pretty good and stayed for dinner. An excellent choice as it turned out.
The highlight of the day were coming across a couple driving a little Vauxhall stuck in a river because “the GPS navigator said it was a road!”.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Trails, tilts and trepidation
Awoke refreshed after our first full night in a hotel. Although the room took a little bit of getting used to. The hotel is quite old and I think the building might have settled somewhat. The floor had developed a bit of a slope running from one corner. If you exited the bathroom at anything above a slow shuffle, the momentum gained from the step down in the room could take over and send you at an alarming rate into the opposite wall 3 metres away, leaving you crumpled on the floor against the bedside table. Even sleeping was a challenge. When lying down, your feet would slowly creep down the bed towards your head until your entire body is wedged up against the bedhead. To counter this, we tried hooking our feet over the end of the mattress, but as sleep overtook us, eventually we ended up against the headboard again. The only thing to do was to turn around and occasionally push off with our feet to keep in position.
We eagerly set off on our walk and everything went well for a few hours. Then I began to hear a few grumbles, then outright accusations of selfishness. I started getting black looks and people would stop conversations when I approached.
I began to suspect a mutiny might be unfolding
I may have been a little bit creative when informing my family of the distance we needed to cover.
Nevertheless, we made it to the hotel after 6 and a half hours of walking and had hot showers. I don’t know when to break tomorrows distance to them.
I may not sleep tonight.
We eagerly set off on our walk and everything went well for a few hours. Then I began to hear a few grumbles, then outright accusations of selfishness. I started getting black looks and people would stop conversations when I approached.
I began to suspect a mutiny might be unfolding
I may have been a little bit creative when informing my family of the distance we needed to cover.
Nevertheless, we made it to the hotel after 6 and a half hours of walking and had hot showers. I don’t know when to break tomorrows distance to them.
I may not sleep tonight.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Wales, walkies and way too much whisky
Thursday 1st July day 7
Morning arrived grey and overcast but soon gave way to drizzle and biting cold. Now, this is the Wales in summer we were expecting! It was time for a quiet day and Llangllogen would have us for another night. We found a cafe with wifi and spent the day doing all the planning and booking we were to do with the free day we would have had in London if the plane was on time.
We then retired to the canal boat where we briskly set about staring out the windows at the drizzle.
In light of nothing else constructive to do and, in preparation for the Peddars Way walk next week, I set about lightening my backpack of additional weight by ensuring that I would not be carrying the full litre of duty free 15yo Glenfiddich. Somewhat later that evening, I realised that the raindrops falling outside were actually the tears of despair of Wales, trying to express its own individuality after years of suppression. I yelled from the canal boat window that “to be Welsh is to be proud” and “it is time to rise up and claim your place in the world”, which actually came out “ffywlld llwfrd dwlup cnncffyt cnff na” which, apparently, means something else entirely in Welsh.
They were actually just raindrops, I’d had far too much whisky. I apologised to the retirees in the next mooring and went to bed.
Friday 2nd July day 8
Hagar was up for it, so we wound her up to 3 knots and with agonising slowness, Llangollen disappeared behind us. We made our way back over the foncillycte (or whatever the crap it is) aqueduct and was once again staggered by the engineering and the shear beauty of the view from the boat. We made our way to a pub called Jack Mytons, stopping on the way to take a walk up to Chirk Castle. Daniel impatiently decided to set out on his own as we were taking far to long to prepare. Morgan tried to catch up with him but he decided he would rather be alone and broke into a run. Morgan decided to come back and walk with us.
That was the last we saw of Daniel for quite some time.
Kath, Morgan and myself made our way to the castle via a trail that led through pastures always upwards, carefully avoiding the cow and sheep dung that lay in abundance on the ground. We found the castle and had a little wander around occasionally wondering where our son might be. After a couple of hours, we decided that we should head back to the boat as Daniel might have got lost and returned there. Morgan and myself returned via the farm trail while Kathy took the road in case he was wandering in traffic again. A little way down the trail, Morgan and myself ran into a distraught Daniel who upon seeing us through himself to the ground in amongst the dung saying “frigging Wales, I want to go home, stupid sheep, bloody cows, I just want to see the castle”. Morgan and myself briefly attempted sympathy before laughing uncontrollably.
Apparently Daniel had seen quite a bit of the country side but failed to locate the castle. We sent him in the right direction and continued down the trail sobbing at the cows and sheep “friggin Wales, I just want to see the castle” and giggling. We are bastards!
Saturday 3rd July day 9
I awoke alone in the bed after Kathy decided to sleep on the lounge after I may have escalated a water fight beyond reasonable retaliation. I was ok with that, she was actually quite wet.
We made our way through Ellesmere, were we stocked up supplies and unsuccessfully attempted to locate a castle, to our chosen mooring location of bridge 35 which on the map had a castle nearby. We spent the twilight hours of the day tramping through farming pasture lands following a vaguely posted trail, finding nothing. Daniel made friend with some cows. He is under the impression that they think he is a god of some sort but I think he just looked like their farmer. I don’t know why they all backed up to him.
Sunday 4th July day 10
I’d had enough of running into bridges and such so I handed over the helm to Daniel so he could hit some stuff. We banged our way back to the Vikings Afloat marina and bid good riddance to Hagar, walked into Whitchurch and caught a progression of 4 trains to get us to Thetford ready for the start of the Peddars Way walk tomorrow. Man, it’s good to be on something that doesn’t rock.
Morning arrived grey and overcast but soon gave way to drizzle and biting cold. Now, this is the Wales in summer we were expecting! It was time for a quiet day and Llangllogen would have us for another night. We found a cafe with wifi and spent the day doing all the planning and booking we were to do with the free day we would have had in London if the plane was on time.
We then retired to the canal boat where we briskly set about staring out the windows at the drizzle.
In light of nothing else constructive to do and, in preparation for the Peddars Way walk next week, I set about lightening my backpack of additional weight by ensuring that I would not be carrying the full litre of duty free 15yo Glenfiddich. Somewhat later that evening, I realised that the raindrops falling outside were actually the tears of despair of Wales, trying to express its own individuality after years of suppression. I yelled from the canal boat window that “to be Welsh is to be proud” and “it is time to rise up and claim your place in the world”, which actually came out “ffywlld llwfrd dwlup cnncffyt cnff na” which, apparently, means something else entirely in Welsh.
They were actually just raindrops, I’d had far too much whisky. I apologised to the retirees in the next mooring and went to bed.
Friday 2nd July day 8
Hagar was up for it, so we wound her up to 3 knots and with agonising slowness, Llangollen disappeared behind us. We made our way back over the foncillycte (or whatever the crap it is) aqueduct and was once again staggered by the engineering and the shear beauty of the view from the boat. We made our way to a pub called Jack Mytons, stopping on the way to take a walk up to Chirk Castle. Daniel impatiently decided to set out on his own as we were taking far to long to prepare. Morgan tried to catch up with him but he decided he would rather be alone and broke into a run. Morgan decided to come back and walk with us.
That was the last we saw of Daniel for quite some time.
Kath, Morgan and myself made our way to the castle via a trail that led through pastures always upwards, carefully avoiding the cow and sheep dung that lay in abundance on the ground. We found the castle and had a little wander around occasionally wondering where our son might be. After a couple of hours, we decided that we should head back to the boat as Daniel might have got lost and returned there. Morgan and myself returned via the farm trail while Kathy took the road in case he was wandering in traffic again. A little way down the trail, Morgan and myself ran into a distraught Daniel who upon seeing us through himself to the ground in amongst the dung saying “frigging Wales, I want to go home, stupid sheep, bloody cows, I just want to see the castle”. Morgan and myself briefly attempted sympathy before laughing uncontrollably.
Apparently Daniel had seen quite a bit of the country side but failed to locate the castle. We sent him in the right direction and continued down the trail sobbing at the cows and sheep “friggin Wales, I just want to see the castle” and giggling. We are bastards!
Saturday 3rd July day 9
I awoke alone in the bed after Kathy decided to sleep on the lounge after I may have escalated a water fight beyond reasonable retaliation. I was ok with that, she was actually quite wet.
We made our way through Ellesmere, were we stocked up supplies and unsuccessfully attempted to locate a castle, to our chosen mooring location of bridge 35 which on the map had a castle nearby. We spent the twilight hours of the day tramping through farming pasture lands following a vaguely posted trail, finding nothing. Daniel made friend with some cows. He is under the impression that they think he is a god of some sort but I think he just looked like their farmer. I don’t know why they all backed up to him.
Sunday 4th July day 10
I’d had enough of running into bridges and such so I handed over the helm to Daniel so he could hit some stuff. We banged our way back to the Vikings Afloat marina and bid good riddance to Hagar, walked into Whitchurch and caught a progression of 4 trains to get us to Thetford ready for the start of the Peddars Way walk tomorrow. Man, it’s good to be on something that doesn’t rock.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
boats, beers and bruised boofheads
Friday 25th June day 1
Dropped off at airport by Ros
Arrived Singapore. So far, so good.
Saturday 26th June day 2
Flight delayed initially 1 hr due to engine problems.
1am take off aborted.
5am pilots come out to bravely face a hostile crowd to tell them that the engineers cannot find the problem and they are off on a 10 hr break.
We get ferried to hotel for a few hours.
12 midday awoken by a call telling us we leave to airport at 3pm.
5:30pm flight finally leaves singers.
11:50pm arrive Frankfurt. We are told that there are no connecting flights to London that night but we are booked onto a Lufthansa flight at 8:25 the next morning and are sent to a hotel for the night.
Sunday 27th June day 3
Wake at 5:30 to grab some breakfast and catch the 6:45 shuttle to the airport. Arrive at the Lufthansa counter (after trying to get in the check in queue without a boarding pass and being sent back to the check in machine that didn’t recognise us) where the Nazi told us we are not booked on this flight and will not issue a boarding pass without a ticket and says we must sort it out with Qantas......in the next terminal. So, 7:30 am, Kathy and myself dump the kids with the luggage and catch the sky train to the next terminal to find the Qantas desk unattended. With much frantic scurrying we track down the only Qantas staff on duty and have her hand write a ticket(reluctantly because in her opinion there was not enough time to meet the flight) for the flight which we snatched and sprinted. As luck would have it, we ended up with Eva Braun again who was actually quite pleasant when presented with a ticket (though Kathy still wanted her name, rank and serial no.)
So arrive in London at 9 and race for the tube to Euston and grab tickets to get us to Whitchurch to meet the canal boat before 5pm. We arrive right on 5 and get a run down on the boat operation and safety features which we nodded knowingly through with red rimmed eyes stifling yawns. Blah, blah, blah. Something about running out of Fosters not being an emergency. Smart arse, what would he know!
Quick dash to co-op for provisions then onto the boat. Immediately out of the marina there was a narrow bridge in which I met another boat coming the other way. As I had no idea what i was doing and may have slept through the briefing, I chose to crash into the side of the bridge whilst swearing loudly. A few kms up the canal we decided we had pushed our luck far enough and moored somewhat short of a bridge (thanks Kathy for the 2km walk) that access to a nearby pub. Safely tied up we alighted and made our way to the pub............which we discovered had burnt down in 2008 and not yet rebuilt and apparently had been mentioned to us in the briefing???? We staggered back and passed out.
Daniel handled the swing bridges with flair and aplomb despite choosing not to utilise the safety barriers.
Monday 28th June day 4
Awoke disorientated and don’t really remember much about this day. We went to Ellesmere and had lunch at the black lion??? Motored up a bit more and had dinner at the Narrowboat Inn?? Where we tied up for the night. Morgan lay on the roof of the boat and guided me along the canal and under bridges with vague wavings of her arms and legs.
Tuesday 29th June day 5
Awoke refreshed, ready for the challenge of the locks. Well almost really. There may have been a little trepidation. Kathy, Daniel and myself observed others operating the locks and decided it was easy as. Cruised through and entered some indescribably stunning landscape. We crossed 2 awesome aqueducts and went through 3 tunnels. One of them 451 metres long.
After cruising through miles of narrow canals we came across a quite expansive area where the canal opened up for a short period just before the fontecillyyeyin aqueduct and decided that it was the perfect place to tie up and find some lunch. So, the stakes were hammered in and ropes tied off and we all made ready to leave for lunch at a local pub. It was then we found out we were moored in a tourist longboat cruise turnaround area. We learnt this from the roar outside the window which was the boat under full power trying to negotiate the water area around us. Anyhow, stiff shit it’s a rental, off to the pub for lunch. Lunch was at a pub called the Aqueduct a little way up the side of the valley were we scored an outside deck table where we enjoyed a few pints overlooking a most spectacular view. Also an excellent vantage point to observe the desperate manoeuvrings of the tour boats around our moored vessel.
After lunch, I might have crashed into another boat. It was parked and I don’t think anyone was on board so I think I might have gotten away with it. Anyway, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t my fault and my family are all liars!
In the evening we moored up a few kms short of Llangollen and dined at the Sun Trevor.
Morgan took out the daily prize with an excellent head butt to the keystone of bridge W8 and chose a role that enabled her to remain below deck for the remainder of the day with ice packs applied to her forehead.
Wednesday 30th June day 6
Arced up Hagar and made short work of the 4 or so miles into Llangllogen. Had a bit of a squiz around the town then set out for the castle on top of the hill. The views were spectacular, the climb up there life threatening.
After an hour or so rest, Kathy, Daniel and myself wacked the sandies back on and went looking for the source of the canal. An hour later we found ourselves standing before a man made garden feature they grandly named Horseshoe Falls. As luck would have it, the Chain Bridge Hotel was located nearby and saw us through our disappointment. We arrived back at the canal boat as darkness was descending around 9:30.
Dropped off at airport by Ros
Arrived Singapore. So far, so good.
Saturday 26th June day 2
Flight delayed initially 1 hr due to engine problems.
1am take off aborted.
5am pilots come out to bravely face a hostile crowd to tell them that the engineers cannot find the problem and they are off on a 10 hr break.
We get ferried to hotel for a few hours.
12 midday awoken by a call telling us we leave to airport at 3pm.
5:30pm flight finally leaves singers.
11:50pm arrive Frankfurt. We are told that there are no connecting flights to London that night but we are booked onto a Lufthansa flight at 8:25 the next morning and are sent to a hotel for the night.
Sunday 27th June day 3
Wake at 5:30 to grab some breakfast and catch the 6:45 shuttle to the airport. Arrive at the Lufthansa counter (after trying to get in the check in queue without a boarding pass and being sent back to the check in machine that didn’t recognise us) where the Nazi told us we are not booked on this flight and will not issue a boarding pass without a ticket and says we must sort it out with Qantas......in the next terminal. So, 7:30 am, Kathy and myself dump the kids with the luggage and catch the sky train to the next terminal to find the Qantas desk unattended. With much frantic scurrying we track down the only Qantas staff on duty and have her hand write a ticket(reluctantly because in her opinion there was not enough time to meet the flight) for the flight which we snatched and sprinted. As luck would have it, we ended up with Eva Braun again who was actually quite pleasant when presented with a ticket (though Kathy still wanted her name, rank and serial no.)
So arrive in London at 9 and race for the tube to Euston and grab tickets to get us to Whitchurch to meet the canal boat before 5pm. We arrive right on 5 and get a run down on the boat operation and safety features which we nodded knowingly through with red rimmed eyes stifling yawns. Blah, blah, blah. Something about running out of Fosters not being an emergency. Smart arse, what would he know!
Quick dash to co-op for provisions then onto the boat. Immediately out of the marina there was a narrow bridge in which I met another boat coming the other way. As I had no idea what i was doing and may have slept through the briefing, I chose to crash into the side of the bridge whilst swearing loudly. A few kms up the canal we decided we had pushed our luck far enough and moored somewhat short of a bridge (thanks Kathy for the 2km walk) that access to a nearby pub. Safely tied up we alighted and made our way to the pub............which we discovered had burnt down in 2008 and not yet rebuilt and apparently had been mentioned to us in the briefing???? We staggered back and passed out.
Daniel handled the swing bridges with flair and aplomb despite choosing not to utilise the safety barriers.
Monday 28th June day 4
Awoke disorientated and don’t really remember much about this day. We went to Ellesmere and had lunch at the black lion??? Motored up a bit more and had dinner at the Narrowboat Inn?? Where we tied up for the night. Morgan lay on the roof of the boat and guided me along the canal and under bridges with vague wavings of her arms and legs.
Tuesday 29th June day 5
Awoke refreshed, ready for the challenge of the locks. Well almost really. There may have been a little trepidation. Kathy, Daniel and myself observed others operating the locks and decided it was easy as. Cruised through and entered some indescribably stunning landscape. We crossed 2 awesome aqueducts and went through 3 tunnels. One of them 451 metres long.
After cruising through miles of narrow canals we came across a quite expansive area where the canal opened up for a short period just before the fontecillyyeyin aqueduct and decided that it was the perfect place to tie up and find some lunch. So, the stakes were hammered in and ropes tied off and we all made ready to leave for lunch at a local pub. It was then we found out we were moored in a tourist longboat cruise turnaround area. We learnt this from the roar outside the window which was the boat under full power trying to negotiate the water area around us. Anyhow, stiff shit it’s a rental, off to the pub for lunch. Lunch was at a pub called the Aqueduct a little way up the side of the valley were we scored an outside deck table where we enjoyed a few pints overlooking a most spectacular view. Also an excellent vantage point to observe the desperate manoeuvrings of the tour boats around our moored vessel.
After lunch, I might have crashed into another boat. It was parked and I don’t think anyone was on board so I think I might have gotten away with it. Anyway, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t my fault and my family are all liars!
In the evening we moored up a few kms short of Llangollen and dined at the Sun Trevor.
Morgan took out the daily prize with an excellent head butt to the keystone of bridge W8 and chose a role that enabled her to remain below deck for the remainder of the day with ice packs applied to her forehead.
Wednesday 30th June day 6
Arced up Hagar and made short work of the 4 or so miles into Llangllogen. Had a bit of a squiz around the town then set out for the castle on top of the hill. The views were spectacular, the climb up there life threatening.
After an hour or so rest, Kathy, Daniel and myself wacked the sandies back on and went looking for the source of the canal. An hour later we found ourselves standing before a man made garden feature they grandly named Horseshoe Falls. As luck would have it, the Chain Bridge Hotel was located nearby and saw us through our disappointment. We arrived back at the canal boat as darkness was descending around 9:30.
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